How Do You Define Yourself?

“What will become of the old sanctuary?”

My husband and I were at a church business meeting to address a building project.  We were not members but we had an interest in what was happening there.  There seemed to be vibrant, Gospel growth.

“What will become of the old sanctuary?”  She was an older woman.  I started to put together in my mind what may have been going on in hers.  I could hear the history of the church in her voice:
“What will become of the old sanctuary?” and an echo in her heart…’where I first learned of Jesus…’

“What will become of the old sanctuary?” …’where my daughter first learned of Jesus’…

“What will become of the old sanctuary?” …’where I prayed for my loved ones to know Jesus’

I know the pain of leaving that building that you love.  My husband and I decided to move to KY so he could do some of his seminary degree on campus.  We sold our home, took our teenage kids, left our church family and biological family.  Our son and grandson were going through a divorce at the time.  I have never felt so much pain in my life.

“What will become of our home?”…and the echo in my heart…’where I brought my babies home from the hospital’

“What will become of our home?” …’where we prayed, and argued and cried and tried to figure out life together’

“What will become of our home?” …where I watched the kids run through the fields while I worked in my gardens’

Christ’s disciples wondered what would become of them.  They must have had a thousand thoughts rushing through their minds.  The Temple was gone.  What (who) they defined themselves by, now, was gone! 

‘All I need is Christ…you are my life…’  I have sung this on many worship days with tears streaming down my face…is it because I did believe it or because I wanted to believe it or because I neededto believe it?

Very often we grasp too tightly those things that we must lose in order to be grasped more tightly by our Lord.  When He takes hold of us and we let go of…even wrench our hands from…that which we hold so dearly we move toward what is our truest deepest desire…to worship and glorify Him.

I’m so blown away that the resurrected Christ revealed Himself first to a woman.  Sometimes it so overwhelms me that I choke up just thinking about it.  Mary just weeps because what she has become has been taken from her…or so she thinks; weeping as she allows her circumstances to  define her perspective.  In her heart of hearts she must have been thinking, ‘What will become of me?’  She begins to walk away from the tomb…it seems she is so overwhelmed by her loss she isn’t even curious that someone spoke to her from inside the tomb!  She continues to weep and answers the Gardener’s question – with a directive “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.”   She and the other disciples heard Jesus talk of his death for weeks.

Isn’t this it?  We talk of how Christ will do great things…we sing all the old hymns and choruses but when we are truly faced with the amazing transformation of Christ and he is speaking tenderly, directly to what is going on for us, “Woman, why are you weeping,” asking us what our hearts must ask, “Whom are you seeking?” we see ….the gardener?

NO we must see Christ!  If we are daughter’s of the Living God we should EXPECT to see Christ!  When the van and the moving truck pulled away from our HOME I should have EXPECTED to see Christ!  While this older woman sat in the business meeting her heart swelling in defense of her church she should EXPECT to see Christ!  But we don’t we live as if we are daughters of the damned:  forgotten, thrown aside and trampled.  Our circumstances define our perspective.

What happened to us ladies?  What great sin came over us that we believe someone is out to get us?..to give us a stone instead of a loaf of bread?  Is it a design error?  No…it is a great mystery that in the end will bring our God great glory!   Our God is a God of transformation.  It is so imperative that we not let these present little ‘g’ glories get in the way.

Ours is an epic battle.  It stems from a twist of words in a glorious garden where two humans were cast from –  without a moving truck, a sanctuary with no walls but much grander than the walls of the little Baptist church meeting or my small gardens where I watched my children play.  This battle is the battle of all time…it is a battle for all eternity!

It is my great hope that as I begin to compile thoughts about this battle…a battle you may not even be conscious of!..that I would be an encouragement to women eager to live out the beautiful blessing the Lord gave us as helpmeet.  Please comment…your comments will encourage myself and hopefully many others!